I had an epiphany the other day. I was getting ready to head off to Boot-Camp and needed to eat breakfast. As I decided what I would eat, I thought about what I needed to fuel my body for the intense workout I was about to do. I did not think, "what sounds good?" or "what am I in the mood for?" I've got this! I finally have a healthy relationship with food and it happened without me working at it. I did not have to do anything special. I just had to give it time. I changed my eating, started working out with some amazing women and threw away my scale. That's it. Pretty simple. I did not start out that way though. It has been an incredibly difficult emotional journey for me.
I shared in my first post about how I got to where I am as far as my weight goes. I have known all along where I needed to be mentally and emotionally and I have tried a million different things to get myself there. When my husband was diagnosed with Diabetes, I felt so much guilt as the one who prepares all of our meals and does the grocery shopping. I decided I would change so he could be healthy. I told myself I needed to change to be a better example for my children. In August, 2010, I went back to Boot-Camp and shortly after that, my son announced his engagement. I was now going to push myself so that I would not be an embarrassment to myself or my family when we went to the wedding. This is a short list of the things I went through mentally to motivate myself.
So, what was my epiphany? This is not about them. I love my family dearly and would do anything for them. I would give my life for them. But my health and fitness is not about Mike. He is responsible for his own health and what he puts in his body. I am not a bad example to my children just because I am not at my ideal weight. I do all the things a mom is supposed to do for her children and so much more. I live a life that glorifies God and that is a great example to Ben, Katherine and Ricky. While it may have been more comfortable to ride in the sardine can they call an airplane had I been at my goal weight, I did not have to be thin for my son to want me at his wedding. We went and we had a blast in spite of my weight.
So, why am I losing weight? Why am I working toward becoming a personal trainer so I can help others with this journey? Because I want to. That is it. I like being active and not carrying an extra person in the form of fat around with me makes that a whole lot easier. I love fashion and how I feel in clothes when they fit right. I like how eating a healthy diet free from counting calories and measuring my food gives me an amazing amount of energy I have never known before. Not even when I was a size 8 and in my 20's!! For once in my life, I realized it is okay to do something for me. I am worth it. I was worth Jesus coming to Earth and dieing on the cross. I have value as a person. I am worth all the time and energy it takes to do this.
Why are you doing the things you are doing in your life?
Showing posts with label health and fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health and fitness. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Yes You CAN!
There is a phrase that I despise! My children are not ever allowed to say it and I cringe whenever I hear it used in just about any form. I can't. Do you have any idea how powerful the things we think and say are? It is what we say and think that forms who we are and affects all that we do in this life. My children are allowed to ask for help. They are allowed to say something is hard. They are even allowed to say they just do not want to do something. The one thing they are never, ever allowed to say is, "I can't."
"I can't" suggests defeat. It suggests that you are not capable. It weakens you.
When I hate to hear this phrase the most is in the land of health and fitness. I hear people say they cannot do a given exercise all the time. When they say that, I know they will never be able to accomplish it. They have already set up in their minds that it is not possible and now their body will never get there. When I first started at Boot-Camp Diva, I was not strong enough to do even one push-up. Yesterday, I did 100 push-ups. If I had told myself that I could not do it on day one, I never would have gotten there. To say, "I am not there yet or My body is just not strong enough." is one thing. Saying, "I can't" is a whole other story. How many times have you offered someone something to eat and they say, "I can't have that. I am on a diet."? Even my fellow Divas whom I love dearly say this. What's the big deal? Well, when we think or say we cannot have something to eat, it leads to a thought pattern of deprivation. A healthy eating plan now becomes a punishment for being fat. I think more people would be living healthy, fit lives if they stopped saying, "I can't" and instead, had the attitude that it is a choice. When someone offers me bread or pasta, I just offer up a "no thank-you." Because I CAN have it, but I am CHOOSING not to. When I go into a workout that is more challenging than my body can handle right now, I do not think about how I can't do this. I think ahead, with excitement, to the day I will be doing that very workout and asking for more.
So, what are you going to choose today? Are you going to choose to make healthy food choices and push your body to do what it can or are you going to sit back and keep telling yourself you can't do it. When in reality, you are choosing to not do what you need to do to live a full, healthy life.
"I can't" suggests defeat. It suggests that you are not capable. It weakens you.
When I hate to hear this phrase the most is in the land of health and fitness. I hear people say they cannot do a given exercise all the time. When they say that, I know they will never be able to accomplish it. They have already set up in their minds that it is not possible and now their body will never get there. When I first started at Boot-Camp Diva, I was not strong enough to do even one push-up. Yesterday, I did 100 push-ups. If I had told myself that I could not do it on day one, I never would have gotten there. To say, "I am not there yet or My body is just not strong enough." is one thing. Saying, "I can't" is a whole other story. How many times have you offered someone something to eat and they say, "I can't have that. I am on a diet."? Even my fellow Divas whom I love dearly say this. What's the big deal? Well, when we think or say we cannot have something to eat, it leads to a thought pattern of deprivation. A healthy eating plan now becomes a punishment for being fat. I think more people would be living healthy, fit lives if they stopped saying, "I can't" and instead, had the attitude that it is a choice. When someone offers me bread or pasta, I just offer up a "no thank-you." Because I CAN have it, but I am CHOOSING not to. When I go into a workout that is more challenging than my body can handle right now, I do not think about how I can't do this. I think ahead, with excitement, to the day I will be doing that very workout and asking for more.
So, what are you going to choose today? Are you going to choose to make healthy food choices and push your body to do what it can or are you going to sit back and keep telling yourself you can't do it. When in reality, you are choosing to not do what you need to do to live a full, healthy life.
Monday, February 7, 2011
About Me - Part 1
Here we go. My first blog post. My plan is to blog about my weight loss journey and in the process, give advice and encouragement to those of you out there trying to lose weight or just trying to be healthier. First, I want to give some background about me.
As a child, I was tall, skinny and active. When I was in the fifth grade, I put on a little weight. Looking back at pictures, I see that I was in no way overweight. I also now know that what little 'pudge' I put on was for a major growth spurt I was about to go through. I was about 5'6" in the fifth grade and by the end of my sixth grade year, I was at the height I am now. About 1/4" shy of six feet. My mom, who loves me very much and was trying to do what she thought was right for me, put me on a diet. She had a weight problem when she was 12 and she was worried I would have the same problem. So, while my older brother could eat cookies, candy and whatever else he wanted, I was told 'no' to just about anything. This really messes with a young girl. At the same time, I had a dad who showed love through food and took us out for fast food and bought milkshakes and candy all the time. Talk about confusing. I was told I was fat when I was not and I had one parent using food to love me and the other one telling me I could not have it. In my mind, with-holding love.
I share all of this to give my background. Not to place blame. I am not angry with my parents and forgave them a long time ago. Part of me wishes things had been different, but the rest of me knows that it is the good and the bad in life that form who we are.
All of this confusion about food, love, body image, along with many other things that happened to me throughout junior high and high school, caused me to put more and more weight on. My mom continued to put me on diet after diet. There was the old Weight Watchers, which looked nothing like the amazing program they have today, the cabbage diet and anything else she tried. Nothing helped. By the end of high school, I was a size 24. I am not sure what my weight was. I really thought I was destined to be this size forever. I really thought that I knew how to eat healthy and I was very active. I have always liked to workout. It was not until I was 24 and married to Mike that I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed in at 299.8. I was heartbroken. I was fully committed and in 6 weeks, I lost 30 pounds. Then, I found out I was pregnant with Katherine. Needless to say, I went back to my old ways. It had not been long enough for the smaller portions and healthier foods to really become a part of my lifestyle. Thankfully, when all was said and done, I only put on 8 pounds of fat. The rest of my weight I put on during pregnancy was water and baby. Ten months after Katherine was born, I went back to Weight Watchers and over the next few years lost 145 pounds! I swore I would never go back to where I had been. If only I knew what was coming. I will go into that next.
As a child, I was tall, skinny and active. When I was in the fifth grade, I put on a little weight. Looking back at pictures, I see that I was in no way overweight. I also now know that what little 'pudge' I put on was for a major growth spurt I was about to go through. I was about 5'6" in the fifth grade and by the end of my sixth grade year, I was at the height I am now. About 1/4" shy of six feet. My mom, who loves me very much and was trying to do what she thought was right for me, put me on a diet. She had a weight problem when she was 12 and she was worried I would have the same problem. So, while my older brother could eat cookies, candy and whatever else he wanted, I was told 'no' to just about anything. This really messes with a young girl. At the same time, I had a dad who showed love through food and took us out for fast food and bought milkshakes and candy all the time. Talk about confusing. I was told I was fat when I was not and I had one parent using food to love me and the other one telling me I could not have it. In my mind, with-holding love.
I share all of this to give my background. Not to place blame. I am not angry with my parents and forgave them a long time ago. Part of me wishes things had been different, but the rest of me knows that it is the good and the bad in life that form who we are.
All of this confusion about food, love, body image, along with many other things that happened to me throughout junior high and high school, caused me to put more and more weight on. My mom continued to put me on diet after diet. There was the old Weight Watchers, which looked nothing like the amazing program they have today, the cabbage diet and anything else she tried. Nothing helped. By the end of high school, I was a size 24. I am not sure what my weight was. I really thought I was destined to be this size forever. I really thought that I knew how to eat healthy and I was very active. I have always liked to workout. It was not until I was 24 and married to Mike that I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed in at 299.8. I was heartbroken. I was fully committed and in 6 weeks, I lost 30 pounds. Then, I found out I was pregnant with Katherine. Needless to say, I went back to my old ways. It had not been long enough for the smaller portions and healthier foods to really become a part of my lifestyle. Thankfully, when all was said and done, I only put on 8 pounds of fat. The rest of my weight I put on during pregnancy was water and baby. Ten months after Katherine was born, I went back to Weight Watchers and over the next few years lost 145 pounds! I swore I would never go back to where I had been. If only I knew what was coming. I will go into that next.
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