Wednesday, February 16, 2011
About Me - Part 2
After reaching my goal weight and maintaining it for some time, I found out I was pregnant again. I was in a much better place this time and I ate nothing but the best foods for me and my growing baby. After Ricky was born, I was back at my goal weight within 3 months and working for Weight Watchers. I started as a receptionist and was training to be a leader. Then everything went downhill. I had horrible post part partum depression and was put on an anti-depressant. The initial one worked fine for me and I did not have any side-effects. Around the time Ricky was 12 months old, we sold our house to keep it from being foreclosed on, moved to a tiny apartment, had to get rid of one of our dogs, filed for bankruptcy and Ricky ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, near death. My doctor changed my prescription. This one was horrible. I felt completely out of control and ended up quitting my job with WW. I just could not handle how I was feeling and everything else. To top it off, one of the major side-effects of this medication was weight gain. Within 6 weeks time, I put 75 pounds back on! I immediately asked my doctor to take me off of that one, but the damage was done. I was discouraged that I gave up and over the next year put all of my weight back on, plus some. I was too embarrassed to go back to WW. So, I tried Jenny Craig and many other diets. Nothing helped. I fell on my knees before God and begged Him to help me. He started showing me things that needed to change in my heart and in my attitude toward myself and food. It has been a long hard journey, and I am not even done. I am on the right path now. In future blogs I will share tips on losing weight, getting your head in the right place and about the work God is doing in my life.
Monday, February 7, 2011
About Me - Part 1
Here we go. My first blog post. My plan is to blog about my weight loss journey and in the process, give advice and encouragement to those of you out there trying to lose weight or just trying to be healthier. First, I want to give some background about me.
As a child, I was tall, skinny and active. When I was in the fifth grade, I put on a little weight. Looking back at pictures, I see that I was in no way overweight. I also now know that what little 'pudge' I put on was for a major growth spurt I was about to go through. I was about 5'6" in the fifth grade and by the end of my sixth grade year, I was at the height I am now. About 1/4" shy of six feet. My mom, who loves me very much and was trying to do what she thought was right for me, put me on a diet. She had a weight problem when she was 12 and she was worried I would have the same problem. So, while my older brother could eat cookies, candy and whatever else he wanted, I was told 'no' to just about anything. This really messes with a young girl. At the same time, I had a dad who showed love through food and took us out for fast food and bought milkshakes and candy all the time. Talk about confusing. I was told I was fat when I was not and I had one parent using food to love me and the other one telling me I could not have it. In my mind, with-holding love.
I share all of this to give my background. Not to place blame. I am not angry with my parents and forgave them a long time ago. Part of me wishes things had been different, but the rest of me knows that it is the good and the bad in life that form who we are.
All of this confusion about food, love, body image, along with many other things that happened to me throughout junior high and high school, caused me to put more and more weight on. My mom continued to put me on diet after diet. There was the old Weight Watchers, which looked nothing like the amazing program they have today, the cabbage diet and anything else she tried. Nothing helped. By the end of high school, I was a size 24. I am not sure what my weight was. I really thought I was destined to be this size forever. I really thought that I knew how to eat healthy and I was very active. I have always liked to workout. It was not until I was 24 and married to Mike that I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed in at 299.8. I was heartbroken. I was fully committed and in 6 weeks, I lost 30 pounds. Then, I found out I was pregnant with Katherine. Needless to say, I went back to my old ways. It had not been long enough for the smaller portions and healthier foods to really become a part of my lifestyle. Thankfully, when all was said and done, I only put on 8 pounds of fat. The rest of my weight I put on during pregnancy was water and baby. Ten months after Katherine was born, I went back to Weight Watchers and over the next few years lost 145 pounds! I swore I would never go back to where I had been. If only I knew what was coming. I will go into that next.
As a child, I was tall, skinny and active. When I was in the fifth grade, I put on a little weight. Looking back at pictures, I see that I was in no way overweight. I also now know that what little 'pudge' I put on was for a major growth spurt I was about to go through. I was about 5'6" in the fifth grade and by the end of my sixth grade year, I was at the height I am now. About 1/4" shy of six feet. My mom, who loves me very much and was trying to do what she thought was right for me, put me on a diet. She had a weight problem when she was 12 and she was worried I would have the same problem. So, while my older brother could eat cookies, candy and whatever else he wanted, I was told 'no' to just about anything. This really messes with a young girl. At the same time, I had a dad who showed love through food and took us out for fast food and bought milkshakes and candy all the time. Talk about confusing. I was told I was fat when I was not and I had one parent using food to love me and the other one telling me I could not have it. In my mind, with-holding love.
I share all of this to give my background. Not to place blame. I am not angry with my parents and forgave them a long time ago. Part of me wishes things had been different, but the rest of me knows that it is the good and the bad in life that form who we are.
All of this confusion about food, love, body image, along with many other things that happened to me throughout junior high and high school, caused me to put more and more weight on. My mom continued to put me on diet after diet. There was the old Weight Watchers, which looked nothing like the amazing program they have today, the cabbage diet and anything else she tried. Nothing helped. By the end of high school, I was a size 24. I am not sure what my weight was. I really thought I was destined to be this size forever. I really thought that I knew how to eat healthy and I was very active. I have always liked to workout. It was not until I was 24 and married to Mike that I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed in at 299.8. I was heartbroken. I was fully committed and in 6 weeks, I lost 30 pounds. Then, I found out I was pregnant with Katherine. Needless to say, I went back to my old ways. It had not been long enough for the smaller portions and healthier foods to really become a part of my lifestyle. Thankfully, when all was said and done, I only put on 8 pounds of fat. The rest of my weight I put on during pregnancy was water and baby. Ten months after Katherine was born, I went back to Weight Watchers and over the next few years lost 145 pounds! I swore I would never go back to where I had been. If only I knew what was coming. I will go into that next.
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